Manic Monday

Who knew an envelope could provide so much fun!

Our New Addition

We have a new member of the family!

A few weeks ago a neighbour knocked on our door during the afternoon asking if we'd lost a kitten. Of course we hadn't but I lurve cats....
Foz however, hates cats. He's totally a dog person and Bee, well, Bee is just afraid of every animal you can think ok, from cows to fish to fluffy bunny rabbits. 

So I told the neighbour that if she had no luck finding the owner (and if she couldn't keep hold of the kitten) that we'd have her for a few days, until a rescue centre would take her or the owners turned up.

Later that evening there was a knock on the door, it was the neighbour with the kitten. She was a beautiful little thing, black with white markings and ever so skinny. I could feel every knobble of her spine. That evening all the kitten wanted was to be cuddled, she followed me everywhere, miowing and rubbing at my ankles. When not following me round she was curled up on my knee sleeping. A very sweet, affectionate kitten and I was smitten.

However, I'd made a deal with Foz: he would let me keep hold of her for a few days while I looked for the owner or a rescue centre. So the following day I starting ringing round. The first two centres both said that they were full and had long waiting lists of cats needing a space (depressing in itself) but they could add me to the list and ring when a space became available. Thanks but no thanks. I gave them all the details about her & my phone number in case any owner rang up looking for her and moved on to rescue centre 3. It turns out that the number belonged to an individual that provided a small rescue service, not a center. The lady was lovely and we talked for quite a time. She couldn't help me immediately as her limited resources were full and she was off on her jollies but she promised she would ring me on her return. During this morning of phonecall-making Foz must have been doing some deliberating as once I'd put down the phone for the 3rd time he asked "do you want to keep the cat?". Well duh! Of course I wanted to keep the cat but not at the expense of his happiness. He told me that on the proviso that I fed her, cleaned the litter tray and generally did the 'care' side of it then I could keep her, if no owners showed up.

 

I was thrilled! I'd been desperate for a cat since losing Kitty in January 2010 but couldn't get Foz to agree to having another.

That afternoon we went into town for the essentials: cat food, litter tray, flea and worm stuff etc etc. It was thrilling to be out shopping for my new kitten, I was so excited but at the same time dreading that phone call telling me an owner had turned up. With that in mind I'd decided to wait a week or so before giving her a name, just in case, while in the meantime just referring to her as 'kitty' or 'the kitten'.

A week went by and nobody phoned or knocked on the door and so (from my Grandma's suggestion) we gave the kitten her new name:

~ Minnie! ~

Of course! What else could we have called her when we have a toddler obsessed with Minnie Mouse! To make the difference between mouse and cat clear we've been calling the kitten Minnie Cat, although Bee is currently calling her "mi mo". I think this is because Bee doesn't think of 'Minnie Mouse' as two words, just one that describes that character. Hopefully as her understanding and communication skills increase this will clear up for her.

Minnie Cat has now been with us for about three weeks and has settled in beautifully. She's a very affectionate cat, although she has stopped following us around miaowing at our ankles! Now she's content to sleep on our knee if we're sat down and just on the sofa if not. She's still only a baby and has her manic moments where she charges round the house, leaping on the furniture and attacking anything that moves but the thing that I've found the most endearing is her absolute conviction that she's a dog. Never in my life have I seen a cat roll over on to her back for a tummy tickle. Or growl when someone knocks on the front door.

I've missed having a cat and I love having Minnie sleep peacefully on my knee of an evening, or playing the mighty hunter when I dangle her cat toy. Bee is still a little wary of her. She's quite happy to come over and look at Minnie, and will say "hello" to her. She's even graduated to using the doll's hand to stroke her. Baby steps! We're hoping Minnie will continue to settle with us and will actually help Bee overcome some of her confidence issues in relation to animals, and if not: she's still cute and fluffy!

The Start of the Statement

This week we had our initial appointment with the educational psychologist to start the statementing process for Bee. It was something we'd been looking forward to and dreading in equal measures.

Our appointment was scheduled for the afternoon, after the educational psych. had spent some time with Bee in the morning. Thankfully Foz was off work so we were able to attend together. It can feel a little overwhelming sometimes attending these kind of things on my own while Foz is at work so I'm always grateful when we can do it together.

For those unfamiliar a statement of special educational needs to a document setting out what your child's needs are and what assistance the council/school is legally bound to provide to ensure that your child reaches their full learning potential. We are very lucky that Bee will be statemented automatically, many parents have to fight to get that for their child.

The ed. psych was lovely, very friendly and eager to reassure us that she's on our side and wants to help us get everything that Bee needs. She began by asking us all kinds of questions like how we felt Bee was doing, what areas we felt she needed assistance in, where she was excelling, what things she liked to do, what she didn't like to do etc. Our answer was, of course, that she is flying. Since starting nursery she seems to have improved in every area. She's more confident, communicates more, mobility is better, the list goes on. I found myself having to forcibly stop myself from going on and on about how fantastic she's doing and how proud we are.

Then it came time for the ed. psych's turn. She asked if we minded her giving us some observations she'd made about Bee during her time with her that morning. She was quick to reassure us that her observations were made during a 'snapshot' of Bee's time, there'd be things that Bee would or wouldn't do during the session that she may or may not do at home so we were to take everything with a pinch of salt. 

She began by telling us what a sweet, pleasant, bright and curious little girl Bee is and that we should be very proud of her (which we are!) Looking back it feels a little like that was the sweetener before the bad news.

Next came the observations:

• Bee interacted brilliantly with adults, was able to engage them and knew how to make her feelings/desires clear through language, sign or gesture. But Bee did not engage other children in play. She would play next to other children, but not directly with them. Occasionally she would become interested in something another child was doing and would approach to have a look, but would not make an attempt to join in.
• Bee would sit during group time and listen/respond if an adult was talking to her directly. Once the adult had moved on to talk to another child, or to the group as a whole Bee's attention wandered and she didn't appear to process the information that was being given.
• Once given a task to perform, in this instance filling a bucket with water from the water pump and using that to fill the water play table, Bee could begin to carry it out but struggled to complete. She seemed to forget what she was supposed to be doing and needed a lot of repeated prompts to carry out the whole activity.
• Although very confident walking on smooth flat surfaces Bee was observed to need assistance with mobility during use of the water pump, which stands at the top of a slight incline. She managed well by herself towards the pump but on the walk down the incline she asked to hold the hand of a staff member for support.

From there the ed. psych was able to make some initial recommendations for the statement:

• Bee has severe needs with communication. She has a handful of Makaton signs and some language but the words are unformed and difficult to understand.
• Bee has severe needs with mobility. Although she is able to walk unaided on flat, smooth surfaces Bee struggles with any uneven surface or inclines. She doesn't watch where she steps and will step off edges without realising. She needs an adult with her for supervision at all times.
• Bee has severe needs with learning. When engaging with one adult in a direct conversation Bee will listen and process information she is given. When that conversation encompasses more children Bee struggles to engage in the same way and can't seem to process information she receives. This will have a massive impact on her in classroom learning.

This report for us was pretty devastating. We'd been so proud of Bee and so pleased with the progress that she'd made we'd gone into that meeting a little naively, thinking that the educational psychologist would be equally impressed and tell us that Bee is perfect and would do fantastic in a mainstream school. To hear the words "severe needs" repeatedly was a bit of a shock to the system. Bee is our first child and I think we forget sometimes that although she is doing really well for what we'd always been told to expect, she's not doing so well in comparison to other children her age.

In September Bee is due to go up to 15 hours a week at nursery from 6 hours. We'd been considering our options for that: whether to keep her entirely at the special needs nursery, split the time between a special needs and a mainstream or move her over to a mainstream nursery entirely. We'd been leaning towards splitting the 15 hours between her current special needs nursery and a mainstream, the idea being that she'd get the 1-on-1 she needs at the SN nursery and the 'school' experience at the mainstream. We had been hoping that Bee would have achieved enough to attend mainstream school in September 2013, even if she needed extra assistance to do so.
Since this meeting though we'd reassessed our thoughts on the matter. It would seem that a SN nursery is best for Bee at the moment and we will probably make the decision to keep her there for the full 15 hours in September. We want Bee to achieve her full potential and if that means a special needs nursery and eventually a special needs school then that's fine with us. The last thing we want is for her to struggle and be branded a 'failure' in any mainstream setting.

For more information on Statements: http://bit.ly/aeh4YB

Hue & Splash Bath

At the moment we're working on Bee's colours with her, starting with the four that are the most common in her toybox: red, yellow, blue and green. It's been difficult, I mean, how do you explain what colour is?? So I've been trying to think of new ways to reinforce colour for Bee and try to make it a little easier for her. 

One of Bee's favourite activities is to play in the bath (or any kind of water really) and so, armed with a selection of red toys and red-coloured shaving foam, we tried our very first Hue & Splash Bath!

 It was lots of fun and Bee really enjoyed painting everything in sight with the shaving foam! We used building blocks and toy cotton reels to make prints on the tiles, painted both Bee and her doll, used the spade to scoop water, played 'peepo' with the shopping basket and generally made a great, big mess!

This activity actually turned out to be really good for Bee's sensory issues. The foam was very messy and a texture Bee would normally shy away from but in the bath she was quite willing to use it as a paint. It helped that she was able to immerse her hands in the water to wash them if the sensation of the foam got a little overwhelming. 

The activity took a little trial and error: red food colouring just turned the bath a really muddy brown and did not mix at all with the shaving foam, much less turn it red. I decided to try some water-based kids paint with the foam and it worked really well, needing only a small drizzle to make sure it was red and not pink. I decided not to use any colour in the bath, by the end the water had graduated from pink to red anyway thanks to the foam!

I had been a little worried that the red would stain either the bath or the tiles but thankfully it washed straight off. The grouting might be a tiny bit pink in places but a small price to pay for so much fun! Up next: green!

Materials used:

• Normal bathtime items: towel etc.
• Coloured toys of your choice.
• Shaving foam (not shaving gel)
• Water-based washable paint
• A container for your shaving foam
• Something to mix the foam and paint

Happy Easter!

A big 'HAPPY EASTER' to everyone!

This year has been the first year Bee has been allowed to have easter eggs and we were very excited to buy her one. We decided on something small as we knew (with it being the first time) everyone would buy her some chocolate and we didn't want her to be overwhelmed. We went with a small Minnie & Mickey egg and some little Lindt bunnies, just big enough to have in a single sitting!

Of course spoiltsport Mama said no chocolate for breakfast but Daddy insisted as it's Easter! 

We had a lovely afternoon, spent with Foz's parents and overall a quiet weekend warm at home as the weather turned out to be cold, wet and miserable, boooo! Bee very much enjoyed her chocolate and has plenty to last her for weeks to come!

The March of Progress

Back in October 2011, about a month after starting nursery, Bee was assessed and set goals for her Individual Education Plan. Her nursery has spent some time getting to know her and then set out some targets they felt were achieveable and specific to her development needs. The nursery asked me in for a meeting to explain and confirm these goals, to make sure I was happy with the direction they were taking with her and ask for any input. They had chosen three main goals and aimed to review them in March 2012.

• Turn-taking and socialisation - To become involved in turn-taking activities with an adult e.g. simple games, building a tower, filling a bucket with sand.

• Using two-word links - For Bethany to demonstrate a range of two-word links e.g. 'baby sleeping', 'boy running'.

• Fine motor skills - Bethany to gain confidence in relation to her fine motor skills and the use of a pincer grip and finger isolation.

Just recently I was asked back into nursery for a review on Bee's progress which I was a little nervous about as, although we see a lot of improvement with Bee at home we know that she doesn't neccessarily display it at nursery, especially when it comes to her use of language.

Wonderfully Bee's teacher (K) couldn't have been anymore positive about the strides Bee has taken and how well she's adapting to life at nursery. K talked at length about what a happy, sociable, curious, interactive and sweet little girl Bee is and what a pleasure she is to teach. She went on to talk about the goals that had been set and how well Bee had achieved them:

Turn-taking and socialisation: Bethany is now much more settled at nursery and has established good relationships with familiar staff members. She is able to engage in simple turn-taking activities with an adult and responds well to prompts given to her, e.g. 'Bethany's turn'. She also responds well to being praised for her success.

Using two-word links: Bethany is keen to use spoken language and her confidence has grown significantly during recent months. She is using many more two-word links and will listen, and sometimes repeat, the phrases she hears adults using. Staff are pleased with Bethany's openness to spending time with them and engaging in sociable interactions.

Fine motor skills: Bethany has been happier to become involved in a variety of activities which encourage the use of a pincer-grip and require her to develop fine-motor skills. Staff are pleased with the progress she is making and feel that her accuracy and confidence are improving. She will continue to benefit from involvement in such experiences.

Overall it was a wonderful report and we're thrilled that Bee has settled into nursery so well and is achieving so much. After some discussion with K we've set some new goals, which will be reviewed in June 2012:

• Turn-taking and socialisation: To become involved in turn-taking with another child. 
• Increased use of spoken language: To continue in her use of spoken language to express her needs, engage in play experiences and comment on the world around her, e.g. using 2/3+ word links. 
• Involvement in creative/'messy' play experiences: For Bethany to become involved in a wide variety of sensory mark-making and exploratory experiences.

I'm especially happy with the last one. Already since starting nursery we've noticed an improvement in Bee's tolerance of different textures (like the sand in Southport) and knowing that the nursery are working on it specifically can only help even more.

I'm so proud of my girl for all the achievements she's made and how she continues to defy all those doctors and medical professionals that said she wouldn't. 

Sunshine in Southport!

Well we've been graced with some unseasonably lovely weather this March and yesterday decided to make the best of Foz's day off by heading to the seaside! Southport isn't too far from us and, although the beach isn't particularly sandy, it's got a nice marina and pier. We started with a meal in Wetherspoons which was unsurprisingly awful. We waited ages for it and when it arrived it had clearly been sat under a heat lamp for a long time, my egg mayo sandwiches were crispy.

But no matter, on to nicer things: our walk down the pier!

Walking down the pier

Waving to the tram

 Southport Pier is the second longest in Britain (after Southend Pier) and runs at a whopping 1,216 yards or 0.6 of a mile. It starts a ways back from the seafront, passes over the marina and past a shopping complex before hitting the beach. A tram runs along it, taking people from one end to the other as it's a heck of a trek to the end! But trek it we did, we're tough, we don't need no tram! Plus it was such a lovely day and Bee was fed up of being in the pram.


 

Look Mama!

It was lovely to walk in the sunshine with Bee toddling along next to us, waving her bucket and spade around and looking very cute in her sunhat. She's very excited about her freedom these days and loves to just walk, it doesn't matter where. She does have a distinct preference for walking by herself however, she does not like to hold anyone's hand, something we're starting to work on now we need to worry about her wandering into roads and such.

Having fun on the train

On our trip down the pier we stopped halfway for a ride on the minature railway. It was only a short ride but since our trip on the steam trains recently Bee has been very interested in trains. One of her new words is "hoo hoo" meaning 'choo choo'. The train took us along the side of the marina and back again, maybe 10 minutes at the most but plenty enough for our Bee with her short attention span.


After out little jaunt on the train it was back on to the pier to finish our trek to the end. We were all tired by this time, Bee had given up and asked for the pram and Foz & I decided to ride the tram back instead of walking. 

Finally the end was in sight and we could see the tram sitting at the tramstop. We knew the end of the pier shut at 5pm and it was getting on for that time. But wait, the tram was getting nearer?? The damn thing was leaving without us! We literally missed it by 2 or 3 minutes, that's what we get for stopping to admire the view! So, cue a loooooong walk back! Lucky Bee got a pram ride though!

Once back we treated ourselves to hot, fresh doughnuts which Bee has never had before and my did she love them! We kept getting "mo" and lots of signing every time she finished a bit, I was very impressed that she managed almost an entire doughnut to herself. Greedy Bee!

Having a go on a ride-on car

The sun was starting to set and it was time to head back to the car. We had plans to head to Crosby Beach (Home of the Antony Gormley installation 'Another Place') for Foz to capture some nice sunset shots. I didn't have high hopes of our success at Crosby. Last time we'd tried Bee on the beach (at Talacre, Wales) she'd screamed in fear the entire time. Bee and sand are not best friends. So I'd been expecting for myself and Bee to sit in the car while Foz got his photographs.

Even though I wasn't expecting Bee to tolerate the sand we still wanted to give her the opportunity and, as it was fair chilly by the time we got there, I put Bee in her ski suit and we headed down to the beach. I carried her down the steps and over the initial uneven surface of beach but once we got to the firm, flat sand I asked if she wanted to walk. Her answer was 'yes' so I placed her down and continued to walk ahead, hoping she would follow. She didn't. Instead she stood in place reaching out to me and saying "mama up". This is typical behaviour of Bee, she lacks confidence outside generally especially when the surface is uneven and/or of a texture she doesn't like. We persist though and try all kinds of encouragements to overcome her fears and get her walking. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Yesterday it worked.

Walking across the beach

In preparation for the melt-down I set up a blanket for myself and Bee while Foz got his photographs although wonderfully Bee was happy to potter about on the beach. We did digging with her bucket and spade and collected shells and pebbles as an encouragement to touch the sand. 

 The beach sloped slightly towards the sea and at one point Bee lost her footing, fell forwards and banged her face on the sand. Although uninjured she had sand on both her hands and her face, which distressed her. I took her to sit on the blanket and gently wiped her down and tried to calm her down. I was worried that that small incident would be enough to undo the small positive steps she'd made in conquering her fear of sand. It took a few minutes but she calmed down and with lots of encouragement and praise carried on digging in the sand next to the blanket with her spade. Although she wouldn't stand on the sand again I was thrilled that she even overcame her little knock to that extent.

Touching the sand

Bee got very excited by digging up sand and putting it in her bucket, then tipping it out again all over her legs. She even made the great achievement of touching the sand on her spade. We build a sandcastle, Bee's very first, and she enjoyed whacking at it with her spade and watching it crumble. Little hooligan!

I'm hoping this is the start of major progress with sand and if we get the right weather this summer we'll be able to practise much more.

 

Once the sun set it was time to head for home. It was well past Bee's bedtime and she was a very tired little miss. We had a wonderful day as a family and I'm looking forward to many more this summer if we get the weather! 

Bee's first sandcastle

 

Mother's Day 2012

 

Mother's Day this year was very special as I got to spend it with my lovely Mum and my beautiful daughter. My Mum has not been in the best health recently so my brother and I conspired to take her on a lovely day out, to show her how much we love her and give her a reason to smile. We chose the Churnet Valley Railway in Staffordshire and had a wonderful time. 

Slightly east of Stoke-on-Trent, the Churnet Valley Railway is a restored heritage line running steam and diesel passenger trains through 10 miles of the beautiful Staffordshire countryside. The three stations along the line have all been restored or rebuilt to their original early-century beauty, even the advertising signs around the place are from the 1930's and 40's. It really is a great experience.

Showing her baby the sights

I had been a little worried about how well Bee would enjoy it, the trains can be quite loud and I worried that she would be bored sitting for the journey. I underestimated my girl though, she loved it! She was fascinated by the passing scenery and enjoyed walking up and down the carriages, despite the swaying movement! 

Having a look around with Grandma & Uncle Chris

 We were able to get on and off freely at any of the three stops and have a wander about, visit the cafe or even walk back along the canal that roughly follows the line.

 

 After a yummy bread & butter pudding stop at the cafe we had a mooch about the station and a visit to the souvenir shop. Bee was very taken with her Thomas the Tank Engine flag and train colouring book! We had lots of fun waving the flag just like the train guard. She also mastered 'hoo hoo' for choo choo, thrilled :)

As the day wore on we rode the train some more and stopped along the line in a lovely pub for a warm drink and a rest. It was a typical country pub with dogs welcome and a roaring fire, even some chickens roaming around outside! Bee wasn't very impressed with the chickens, she's afraid of all animals but enjoyed doing some colouring in her new train colouring book.

As the day wore on we all began to get hungry and the trains were coming to and end. We loaded up the car and hit the road, deciding to eat at a carvery in Stoke-on-Trent on the way home. It went down extremely well and Bee very much enjoyed her small tastes of veg, potatoes, gravy and cranberry sauce.

My Mother's Day was everything I wanted it to be, with some of the most important people in my life. I had a wonderful time and would definitely recommend a trip to the Churnet Valley Railway!

Bee's Dictionary Updated

**NEW**

Train                                Choo choo

Mr Tumble                        Be-bul

Word                                Sounds Like

Yes                                  Yeah

No                                    Naow

Ta                                    Gaa

Thank you                         Guy-or / Guy-oo

Car                                  Bum bum

Ball                                  A-bawl

Monkey                             Ooo ooo

All gone                            Uh gnnn

Baby                                Ba ba / Baby

Hello                                Hey-yo / Hiya

Bye bye                           A-bye / Be bye

Dog                                 Uff uff
Food                                Num nums
More                                Moh

Bubbles                            Bu-bull

Door                                Dior

Up                                   Up

Keys                                Daa

Bag                                 Ba

Play-Doh                          Bawl

Bed                                 Ba

Chair                               Ka

Book                               Booo

Outside                           A-hide

Boat                               Ba

Me                                 Me

Pram                              Bam

Knee                               Knee

Nappy                             Da-pee

Shoes                             Sues

Boots                              Booo

Gate                               Diit 

Bethany                          Bee

People                             Sounds Like

Mummy                            Mama

Daddy                              Da-de

Grandma                          Gam-ma / Gram

Great-Grandma                  Noo noo
Great-Grandad                  ChGee ChGee
Clare                                Ka

Gem                                ChGem


Makaton Signs
Yes
No
More
Book
Finished
Bubbles
Bed
Please
Thank you
Mr Tumble
**NEW** Nursery

Aaaand I'm Back...

I've been a little lax with my blogging since December. It's always such a busy month and we've had lots going on since then so it sadly had to take a backseat. But I'm back with a vengeance and intend to keep it updated as often as possible. Much has changed since I last blogged yet in some ways things stay exactly the same. Maybe that's an indicator of having a special needs child.

 

 Our biggest change is Bee is that walking confidently without the aid of her walker. She's still a little wobbly sometimes and especially clumsy when she's tired but in the main she walks everywhere now. I can't tell you how thrilled we were. More than thrilled. Even now, months later, I watch her toddling round the living room or down the aisle at the supermarket and marvel at how far she's come. Bee revels in her new freedom and it's created some challenges for us in how to deal with a very strong-willed toddler who wants to go left when you need to go right. We've invested in a LittleLife Daysack (the bumblebee design of course!) and I highly recommend them. Even if it did take Bee some time to realise that the handle is for us to hold, not her!

We've always considered ourselves very lucky when it comes to Bee's behaviour and thanked our lucky stars when the 'terrible twos' never materialised. She's always in a good mood and very rarely cries, unless there's a good reason. She says 'please' and 'thank you', most of the time without needing to be prompted and is generally charming and sweet with everyone. Or so we thought. We've recently seemed to hit the terrible threes. On top of this Bee has learnt how to be devious, highlighted in a recent trip to my Grandparents. We change her nappy on the bed there and she also likes to bounce on it when supervised. Whilst sitting in the living room chatting and drinking cups of tea Bee came over to me and asked:

"Mama ba" (mama bed)

"No Bethany, we can bounce on the bed when the drinks are finished"

And with that she toddles off so I rejoin the conversation. Minutes later I felt a small hand on my knee and looked down to see Bee, with a nappy in her hand and patting her bum. "Mama ba". You devious little minx! But clever at the same time, very clever!

So now we're having to become requainted with our toddler. Her likes and dislikes have changed, she's tolerant of and aversive to things she wasn't before. It's been a challenge as through all this her speech delay is still causing us some communication problems. She gets very frustrated when she can't express to us what she means or wants.

Something that hasn't changed a great deal is Bee's compulsion habits. We still have to close doors behind us, sit in the same seats in the living room, read the same book over and over again...the list goes on. Sometimes it can be difficult finding the line between accomodating her obsessions and not reinforcing them. It's hard to know where one ends and the other begins, especially when we know it's something she can't help.

Health-wise Bee has been doing very well, with just the one nasty bug over Christmas which landed us in the emergency GP's on Boxing Day. She seems to be much stronger these days, although with a constantly snotty nose (thanks nursery!)

Talking of nursery: Bee loves it. She is now asking to go every day using the Makaton sign for 'nursery'. We're really happy about it as she struggled to settle at first and would scream and cling. Her confidence has soared since starting there and we're really hopeful that Bee will be able to attend mainstream school.

Overall our girl is coming on really well, exceeding everything we were told to expect for her. The fact that we're even able to think about mainstream school is testament to what a clever, strong, beautiful daughter we have. Love you Bethany May xx