Well tomorrow is the big day, Bee is starting school. It's the ultimate cliche but I can't believe the time has passed so quickly. It seems only yesterday we had the summer stretched out in front of us and now school has crept up to surprise us and I'm not ready. I'm not ready to let her go.
For nearly 5 years it's been just me and her, while her Daddy works I've been the one at home. She's my kid, my star, my monster, my Bee, my everything. I've seen every moment of development, every achievement she's made from the small to the huge. She's my constant companion and my best friend. Spending these precious years with my Bee has meant everything to me.
Tomorrow everything will change. Things will never be the same once morning dawns and school beckons. Tomorrow marks the day Bee will start making large strides away from the security of my side to the uncertainty of the wide world. We'll have weekends and holidays but no longer will we have our little daytime world of two. From tomorrow a complete stranger will have care of Bee for more hours a week than I will.
The house is going to seem so empty without her little voice. I'll miss the constant "mama, mama, mama, mama, why, why, why, me too, what you do?"
Foz tries his best to be supportive but I think it's harder for him to understand as not much will change on his end. Bee will be here as he gets home from work as always and they'll have their weekends together.
I'm worried about how she'll cope. I'm worried the days will be too long for her, I'm worried she'll get knocked over and picked on, I'm worried she won't cope with the lessons, I'm worried she won't sit at mealtimes, I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried...
Aside from the worry (and the self-pity) I'm very excited about the challenges that lie ahead for Bee. I know that no matter how difficult or prolonged the 'settling in' period is that eventually Bee will loved school as she loved nursery. I'm excited about some of the things Bee's new teachers have planned for her and I'm very confident in all of them and their ability to help Bee thrive.
The first day of school marks another milestone in my Bee's life and already she has achieved so much more than we could have dreamed. She makes me proud every day.
I love you Bethany May and wish you so much joy and happiness in your new adventure xx